The last week and a half have been rough to say the least. Kidney stones have been a thorn in my side, literally, since August 2008. Finally yesterday I had the little sucker removed. Thank you God for getting it out without complication. I specifically gave the doctor instructions that I had two babies at home, 3 yrs and 9 months, that needed me. And my husband that needed me too. I didn't need to tell God he already knew. So all went well, would've been better if the IV would've only had to be put in once and the breathing tube not for a horse. But all is well :)
So just a little humor in the morning is always good after a day like that. This morning I got up to help get the kids ready for nursery and I needed to eat so I could take my pain meds. Hunter and I shared a bowl of oatmeal, one of the few things he'll eat when he even wants to eat. I told him he was going to have red beans for lunch at school today, he said, "I don't like red beans, I don't like nothing." He paused for a few seconds, like he was pondering what he had just said. He then realizes, "I like oatmeal, grits, and playing with trucks." Me too Hunter, me too.
<3
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
God's Plan IS Perfect!
I, like many, have been following Tripp Roth's story for a while. After reading Courtney's last post, you could tell Tripp was nearing the end. Then Saturday amidst all the Saints game day festivities I checked my trusty Facebook (and I use "trusty" losely) and see that Tripp went to Heaven earlier in the day. And it triggered quite a few things that I felt I should right down, have it if I ever started to doubt God's plan. After all, it's our human nature.
From that second, I felt complete grief for his mother and complete joy for Tripp. Now, I do not know Courtney or Tripp, but I am a mother. Being a mother opens your eyes to view the world differently, you love another person more than yourself. And you know that Courtney loves Tripp more than herself, her own life even. So I don't think it to be odd that so many people who have never met her or her son will grieve over the loss of her child.
With that said, Tripp has been on my mind and I feel like I am supposed to share it. As I put Cate to bed last night, I starred at her, a bit longer than usual. I thanked God for giving me a healthy little girl, who could suck a bottle and paci, wear diapers, and hold her blankie. Not the things I would normally thank Him for I guess. Then Hunter finally made it back home and I was never happier to see him. He played for a little while and was finally ready for bed. We got in the bed in our usual spots and put on Nick Jr. I snuggled next to him and told him "mommy loves you Hunter." I must have said it quite a few times because, in true Hunter fashion, he replies "mooooom why you keep saying that?!?" I told him I wanted to make sure he heard me and he just giggled :) again I thanked God for giving me a little boy who could run, play puzzles, ride a bike, and drink a cup of milk. Nothing fancy, just the everyday things.
This brings me to church this morning, where I constantly thought of Tripp. If you know me, or Hunter, at all, you know we LOVE music. I can relate to a lot of things through music. It speaks to me more than just words, you can feel it. God uses it often to speak to me, and He used it to speak to me today. The final song of the service was "Come Just As You Are" and it took every fiber of my being to hold it together. The first verse goes "come just as you are, hear the spirit call; come just as you are, come and see; come receive, come and live forever. God had called Tripp just as he was to live forever in the arms of his heavenly Father. He is perfect in every way. God made Tripp perfectly for his mother.
And God made Hunter and Cate perfectly for me. My kids may not be perfect, ok they aren't, but they were made for ME. God chose ME to be their mother. He said yeah you can get the job done. Wow, what faith He has in me! And His plan for me is perfect.
My final thought brings me back to Nile. I remember like yesterday what I did and said the minutes after I heard he had passed. I said, "is there a god? How does God take a baby from his mother?" Exact words. I read one of Courtney's posts recently, which was directed at people who had lost a child (or maybe not)and didn't believe in God (and I'm making an assumption on that here). She said in summary, how can you lose a child and not believe in God? Don't you wonder where your child is? I immediately thought of what I had said the morning of December 9, 2010. It was like God was telling me, "see, you doubted Me,remember that? What she said makes sense huh?" Well of course it does.
So in case I forget, I'll use this post to remind me that God's plan is perfect. God will not protect us from the things he can use to perfect us. He won't shelter me from the death of a child if He knows (of course he knows) it will make me a better person. I think God used Tripp and Courtney to show us all a little something. Compassion and courage. They are like a nice PB&J sandwich. They just go together.
<3
From that second, I felt complete grief for his mother and complete joy for Tripp. Now, I do not know Courtney or Tripp, but I am a mother. Being a mother opens your eyes to view the world differently, you love another person more than yourself. And you know that Courtney loves Tripp more than herself, her own life even. So I don't think it to be odd that so many people who have never met her or her son will grieve over the loss of her child.
With that said, Tripp has been on my mind and I feel like I am supposed to share it. As I put Cate to bed last night, I starred at her, a bit longer than usual. I thanked God for giving me a healthy little girl, who could suck a bottle and paci, wear diapers, and hold her blankie. Not the things I would normally thank Him for I guess. Then Hunter finally made it back home and I was never happier to see him. He played for a little while and was finally ready for bed. We got in the bed in our usual spots and put on Nick Jr. I snuggled next to him and told him "mommy loves you Hunter." I must have said it quite a few times because, in true Hunter fashion, he replies "mooooom why you keep saying that?!?" I told him I wanted to make sure he heard me and he just giggled :) again I thanked God for giving me a little boy who could run, play puzzles, ride a bike, and drink a cup of milk. Nothing fancy, just the everyday things.
This brings me to church this morning, where I constantly thought of Tripp. If you know me, or Hunter, at all, you know we LOVE music. I can relate to a lot of things through music. It speaks to me more than just words, you can feel it. God uses it often to speak to me, and He used it to speak to me today. The final song of the service was "Come Just As You Are" and it took every fiber of my being to hold it together. The first verse goes "come just as you are, hear the spirit call; come just as you are, come and see; come receive, come and live forever. God had called Tripp just as he was to live forever in the arms of his heavenly Father. He is perfect in every way. God made Tripp perfectly for his mother.
And God made Hunter and Cate perfectly for me. My kids may not be perfect, ok they aren't, but they were made for ME. God chose ME to be their mother. He said yeah you can get the job done. Wow, what faith He has in me! And His plan for me is perfect.
My final thought brings me back to Nile. I remember like yesterday what I did and said the minutes after I heard he had passed. I said, "is there a god? How does God take a baby from his mother?" Exact words. I read one of Courtney's posts recently, which was directed at people who had lost a child (or maybe not)and didn't believe in God (and I'm making an assumption on that here). She said in summary, how can you lose a child and not believe in God? Don't you wonder where your child is? I immediately thought of what I had said the morning of December 9, 2010. It was like God was telling me, "see, you doubted Me,remember that? What she said makes sense huh?" Well of course it does.
So in case I forget, I'll use this post to remind me that God's plan is perfect. God will not protect us from the things he can use to perfect us. He won't shelter me from the death of a child if He knows (of course he knows) it will make me a better person. I think God used Tripp and Courtney to show us all a little something. Compassion and courage. They are like a nice PB&J sandwich. They just go together.
<3
Friday, January 13, 2012
Teeth and trouble!
My dear Cate, she's been teething for what seems like forever. And FINALLY today I can truly see her little nub of a tooth on the lower left side. I guess it's all downhill from here, she'll be driving next week. Driving me crazy, that is. She decided to pull herself up to the side of tub today in a kneeling position just close enough so that if she fell she'd hit her chin. She is surely not the cautious baby Hunter was. But we love her just the same :)
<3
<3
Candy could never be as sweet
As sweet as my little Hunter, that is. He asked me a few mornings ago, "Is her big enough yet?" referring to Cate. I asked for what and he said "to walk, I want to walk with her." <3, little boys were certainly made to steal their mama's hearts. And candy out of the cabinet the second I turn around :) And his response after getting caught, head in the cabinet and everything? "I gonna put it on the counter for yater." Yes, yater, as in after dinner because he KNOWS there's no candy before dinner, only a snack along the lines of yogurt. <3
Life's a Picmic
The end of one task always leads to the beginning of another, and another, and another. In roughly 45 minutes, I had to finish dinner, tame a crying toddler because his "picmic" table wasn't together, feed children, and now I had a headache too. Do things like this happen at your house? I'd imagine so. All mom's are pretty good magic erasers. And as shown above, daddy came to the rescue Thursday evening with ease, assembling the "picmic" table.
All is well, for now. <3
A New Start
I'm so not good at taking notes. Let's just get that out of the way now. I have a pile of post its in my purse stuck to my wallet and such, that contain in no particular order, the things I need to do/buy/return/feed/etc. BUT, now that my son is 3 and my daughter is 9 months, there are things that I WANT to remember, that I WANT to right down in some particular order, to remind me of times past. I would imagine the big 3-0 has something to do with it. So, I'll take advantage of the digital age, hold myself accountable, and blog it!
I hope to be able to update this weekly (I know, I can't even get an Ipad out of the box in 3 weeks), but hopefully I can squeeze some time in to do it :) And one day when I'm older, much older, I'll look back and laugh, cry, or scream with horror (possibly all 3) at what my kids did and did TO me, and simply, remember.
<3
I hope to be able to update this weekly (I know, I can't even get an Ipad out of the box in 3 weeks), but hopefully I can squeeze some time in to do it :) And one day when I'm older, much older, I'll look back and laugh, cry, or scream with horror (possibly all 3) at what my kids did and did TO me, and simply, remember.
<3
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