God's Plan IS Perfect!

I, like many, have been following Tripp Roth's story for a while. After reading Courtney's last post, you could tell Tripp was nearing the end. Then Saturday amidst all the Saints game day festivities I checked my trusty Facebook (and I use "trusty" losely) and see that Tripp went to Heaven earlier in the day. And it triggered quite a few things that I felt I should right down, have it if I ever started to doubt God's plan. After all, it's our human nature.

From that second, I felt complete grief for his mother and complete joy for Tripp. Now, I do not know Courtney or Tripp, but I am a mother. Being a mother opens your eyes to view the world differently, you love another person more than yourself. And you know that Courtney loves Tripp more than herself, her own life even. So I don't think it to be odd that so many people who have never met her or her son will grieve over the loss of her child.

With that said, Tripp has been on my mind and I feel like I am supposed to share it. As I put Cate to bed last night, I starred at her, a bit longer than usual. I thanked God for giving me a healthy little girl, who could suck a bottle and paci, wear diapers, and hold her blankie. Not the things I would normally thank Him for I guess. Then Hunter finally made it back home and I was never happier to see him. He played for a little while and was finally ready for bed. We got in the bed in our usual spots and put on Nick Jr. I snuggled next to him and told him "mommy loves you Hunter." I must have said it quite a few times because, in true Hunter fashion, he replies "mooooom why you keep saying that?!?" I told him I wanted to make sure he heard me and he just giggled :) again I thanked God for giving me a little boy who could run, play puzzles, ride a bike, and drink a cup of milk. Nothing fancy, just the everyday things.

This brings me to church this morning, where I constantly thought of Tripp. If you know me, or Hunter, at all, you know we LOVE music. I can relate to a lot of things through music. It speaks to me more than just words, you can feel it. God uses it often to speak to me, and He used it to speak to me today. The final song of the service was "Come Just As You Are" and it took every fiber of my being to hold it together. The first verse goes "come just as you are, hear the spirit call; come just as you are, come and see; come receive, come and live forever. God had called Tripp just as he was to live forever in the arms of his heavenly Father. He is perfect in every way. God made Tripp perfectly for his mother.

And God made Hunter and Cate perfectly for me. My kids may not be perfect, ok they aren't, but they were made for ME. God chose ME to be their mother. He said yeah you can get the job done. Wow, what faith He has in me! And His plan for me is perfect.

My final thought brings me back to Nile. I remember like yesterday what I did and said the minutes after I heard he had passed. I said, "is there a god? How does God take a baby from his mother?" Exact words. I read one of Courtney's posts recently, which was directed at people who had lost a child (or maybe not)and didn't believe in God (and I'm making an assumption on that here). She said in summary, how can you lose a child and not believe in God? Don't you wonder where your child is? I immediately thought of what I had said the morning of December 9, 2010. It was like God was telling me, "see, you doubted Me,remember that? What she said makes sense huh?" Well of course it does.

So in case I forget, I'll use this post to remind me that God's plan is perfect. God will not protect us from the things he can use to perfect us. He won't shelter me from the death of a child if He knows (of course he knows) it will make me a better person. I think God used Tripp and Courtney to show us all a little something. Compassion and courage. They are like a nice PB&J sandwich. They just go together.

<3